I woke today feeling sad and heavy hearted. I was also feeling stuck like this poor little guy above.
My mind reminded me of a conflict I had the night before with my husband about his charger….a CHARGED UP conflict! The problem was simple but the communication was NOT!
You know, one of those communication patterns, we all have, where what is meant is vasty different than what is said so the message is WAY, WAY different than intended.
What he meant to say: “Im frustrated because my charger is missing but what he said was a whole lot more.
What I meant to say: “I’m having a hard time following your story so please tell me what you need” but what I said was a whole lot more.
With a redo we got there, but, boy was there a lot in between about not feeling heard and validated and feeling mistreated and misunderstood. Yep, all from a charger.
I know this may sound silly and it is, it truly is! What isn’t silly; however, is how we communicate our needs. Do we speak gently and consisely or do we speak harshly and defensively? Is there a sense of understanding or a tone of anger and condescension? Are we talking to resolve an issue or win a conflict? Do we leave the dialogue with a better understanding of ourselves and our partner or more confused than when we started? Do we realize how to communicate effectively or are we doing the same old song and dance? I believe this is what is meant by the admonition in Epbesians to “Speak the truth in love” in Ephesians 4.15. Speaking our truth in loving ways can save us from a whole lot of stuck places!
So what can we do about these stuck places? How do we make sure we are speaking the truth in love? How do we get from a charged up place to a space of grace? WE SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE! That’s what!
So, we take a deep breathe, pray and try again. We call it a do-over in our home and that’s exactly we did, a.do-over, and guess what, we got unstuck and, as God would have it, we found the charger too!
***If you’d like to try something new in your marriage and start speaking your truth in love, give us a call today at Turning Leaf Wellness Center and one of our counselors will be glad to assist you. Why not call today? ***
(410 ) 360-4242 @ http://www.turning-leaf-wellness.com